Tuition, Surgery, & an INDESCRIBABLE God

For me Sunday afternoons are a time to consider the week ahead. So as I sit here, it is easy to feel overwhelmed knowing that this week my mom and I will pay for my last semester's tuition and books. To think, next year at this time college will be just a memory. Not only will this week be an end of a chapter in my life, but it will also be a beginning of a new chapter for my grandpa. The chapters that make up each of our lives are not always exciting or happy. The next chapter in my grandpa's life is filled with uncertainty, hardship, and pain. Wednesday morning he will be having one of his kidney's removed due to the growth of a cancerous tumor.
I often question why God allows the unrighteous to prosper while those who love Him with all their being go through difficult times. I'm not alone in these questions. King David felt the same way I do. In Psalm 73 David says, "This is what the wicked are like--always carefree, the increase in wealth. Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence." (verses 12-13).
I don't know about you, but I have felt like David many times, but as always David comes to the conclusion that living for the Creator is what he was put on earth to do. "When I tried to understand this, it was oppressive to me til I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny. Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin" (verses 16-18). David realizes that the condition of our lives here on earth is not what matters. Instead, it is walking each day with God's guidance and presence in our lives. David concludes that "it is good to be near God" because "my heart and my flesh may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (vs 28 & vs 26).

As I finish this blog the world outside has turned into a winter wonderland! What a surprise! When I see snow I am reminded of the lyrics from Chris Tomlin's song Indescribable. "Who had told every lightening bolt where it should go/or seen heavenly store houses laden with snow." Only God has! He put the stars in the sky, He tells the sun when to rise and set, He has numbered the hairs on my head! I am reminded today that I serve an Indescribable God and I am thankful that He is also the strength of my heart and my portion forever. When I am reminded how big my God is I have no problem handing over my worries for the week. If He can make my yard in Texas white with snow He can certainly help me through my anxieties of graduation and He will surely walk with my grandpa through the uncertain days and weeks ahead.

Praising Him Without Words

I have experienced a lot of blessings since my last post. Many times I have wanted to sit down and praise the One, who has blessed this Christmas break, with eloquent words, but no words would come. I was even unable to write down my praises to Him in the privacy of my own journal. The lack of words worried me. I felt overwhelmed with thanksgiving, but I couldn't express my feelings to my Heavenly Father. This made me feel like a failure, but then I realized that I can praise Him without words because He knows my heart. When I came to terms with this, I found that when I was in the midst of enjoying a blessing He had given me I would give Him a smile instead of writing two pages in my journal. When I wanted to thank Him for bringing me through a difficult couple of days I took a deep breath of relief, thanksgiving flowing within my heart.

So if you are having a hard time expressing your thankfulness to God, remember that He knows what is in your heart.