I think one of the most challenging things for a Christian girl who is striving to live a set-apart life is making sure that her appearance, words, and actions come across as modest to the opposite sex. If only you knew how many times I wondered how I came across to the guys I've talked to. Was I too sarcastic? Were my favorite jeans just a little bit too tight? Was I blending in too much with those girls whose goal in life is to get a guy's attention?!? Okay, maybe I think a little too much of myself, but I often wonder these things.
Dressing modestly really isn't too hard for me. I've never been one to gravitate towards extremely short shorts or plunging necklines. It really isn't until I'm faced with stacks of clothes in a dressing room that I question why I spend so much time striving to be modest and then I wonder if modest is really hottest! But after all the questioning God brings something to my attention (like this blog post by Leslie Ludy) to remind me that it's all worth it and to show me that I'm really pleasing my Heavenly Father, and hopefully a few brothers in Christ, when I make sure to buy clothes that are modest.
Dressing With Dignity by Leslie Ludy
It is easy to assume that true modesty means drab, shapeless, unfeminine clothes that make us extremely unattractive. But God’s pattern doesn’t bring oppression and ugliness - it brings liberty and beauty. Contrary to popular belief, feminine beauty doesn’t have to mean sensuality. It is more than possible to exude the kind of dignity, grace, and true feminine beauty that will captivate a man’s heart - without using sex appeal.
So I will continue to strive to be modest and show off my true feminine beauty which really comes from within. Because I'm really only trying to please God and He "does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). It would be nice if a guy would take notice though. Just saying!
Plus it doesn't hurt to stand out in the crowd instead of conforming to it (Romans 12:2).
Great post! And I totally agree. I'm a guy so maybe I can offer some manly perspective on the issue. To a mature Christian guy, modesty is really important. If I had a sister (which I don't), I'd want her to dress modestly. I wouldn't want guys to lust after my sister, and I wouldn't want her to dress in a way that might encourage that lust. Who wants guys to look at their sister that way?! I would value my sister's purity and would want her guy friends to value it as well. And I would hope she would value her guy friends' purity and thus dress in a modest way.
ReplyDeleteIn the same way, I want my future wife to be modest. I don't want her dressing in a way that makes guys stare or lust. I don't want her to flaunt her body. I don't want to have to worry about what other guys are thinking about when she goes out in public or to the swimming pool. I would be overjoyed if I found out my future wife was dressing modestly right now, even before we've met.
And I feel the same way about my sisters in Christ. I don't want all my sisters to dress in a way that showcases all the wrong things. I don't want some guy staring lustfully after my sister in Christ. I feel the same way about my sisters in Christ that I would feel about my blood sister.
And I know it's really hard to dress modestly. I see the clothes they sell in stores these days, and I've talked with enough girls about purity to know how challenging it is. But it's so very important. You can't overlook it or shrug it off.
Dress to attract the right kind of guy. Your future husband will really appreciate that one day. And don't buy something just because it's cute. Despite the doubts you may sometimes have, modest really is hottest.